


She Sings, Sweetly

by ObtuseOctopus



Series: Living in Hue [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Making Up, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObtuseOctopus/pseuds/ObtuseOctopus
Summary: • COMPLETE. •After the events of SU;F, Jasper does her best to try and cope with the losses of her past life, encouraged to try a new one.However she’s intrigued by how Lapis in particular is handling new life so well. Is it her... singing? Dancing? Whatever she does while she works the new crops of Little Homeworld... Eugh.
Relationships: Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe)
Series: Living in Hue [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615498
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	She Sings, Sweetly

Her amber eyes are watching her, fixated on her as she moved through the field. Past the greens of the crops, Jasper knew that blue scheme anywhere. She sat on the hill, body low to the ground, lying down with her arm cushioning her chin. Beside her, Peridot was at work planting a few seeds. Although the technician had a very close eye on her, Jasper knew better than to try anything. Besides, after being rejected by her Diamond and told to try other things in life, she decided to try and socialize, get some tips or tricks. Most other Gems either annoyed her or were frightened of her. Peridot was one of the few that was unafraid. 

But that wasn’t the only reason Jasper stayed by the small Gem responsible for poofing her before. Lapis was nearby, and Jasper knew that too well. Her eyes never left the ocean Gem. 

She was too afraid to get any closer.

After months of confronting herself and months of solitude, she finally grasped the concept of what terror was. For the first time in her life, she understood fear and she understood pain. She understood memory and she understood that past actions could cause unpleasant memories.

She was _afraid_ of getting any closer, as she knew the power Lapis had. Sure, Steven was her Diamond, but Lapis? She respected Lapis just the same for her strength. And she also knew that Lapis could shatter her anytime she pleased. Although appealing to listen to her instinct and serve someone worthy, Steven made her go against the grain and do anew. Jasper personally hated it. But what else could she do? Steven didn’t even want her to serve him. She was at a loss here like a puppy unable to get a bone because it was bad.

“Hey, no, stay here,” Peridot gawked when Jasper stood up.

“I’m not going anywhere, pebble,” Jasper growled. She rubbed her head, grimacing at her one broken horn.

“Then why are you getting up? No stepping within a ten foot boundary of Lapis!”

“I’m not going to bother her either, so piss off,” Jasper spat.

Peridot scrunched up her face, patting dirt over the seeds she planted. “Then what are you up to?”

Jasper shrugged. “She’s doing that singing noise again.”

“Ah, yeah she usually does that when she’s bored or just feels like it,” Peridot explained as she tuned in to what Jasper was watching. Lapis was picking the strawberries, singing something sweet as she collected the ripe fruit.

“... What’s it for?”

“Fun,” Peridot said.

Jasper raised a brow. “Fun…?”

“Yeah! Fun like.. fun such as… Hmm,” Peridot struggled to define properly. “Fun is like… when you enjoy doing something just because! It makes you feel good and happy and warm.”

Jasper bit her lip. “So… punching?”

“Uh… I mean, that could be fun, yeah,” Peridot shrugged.

“What purpose is there to SINGING?”

“FOR FUN, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?! I LITERALLY JUST SAID-“

“DON’T SASS ME, RUNT!” Jasper balled her hand into a fist, then forced herself to cool off when she realized that her anger was getting to her. She held back another growl. “... You sing… for fun?” She corrected herself, personally gagging inside. Being nice was still a new thing for her. She had to get used to it and sure could still work on some rough patches here and there.

“Precisely so, yes,” Peridot nodded.

Jasper groaned. “That’s…” she looked for the word. Disgusting was one that came to her naturally, but she couldn’t use the dang word if she wanted to be nice or whatever. “... great.” She watched Lapis for a bit longer, then walked away.

That night, the crickets were driving Jasper crazy. She slept underneath one of the structures in Little Homeworld, sleep being rare for her unless she was extremely bored. She had no purpose anymore without someone to serve. She was pretty much like an annoying mosquito with no blood to suck on, so she kept buzzing around in hopes of finding some food. No things to punch, nothing to haul, not even a tree to kick. She felt worthless. Meaningless. She disliked lots of people, Gems, and even this planet and herself. It was fine, because everything sucked anyway. Fuck everyone.

Jasper opened one eye, narrowing it upon the sight of a cricket in the grass in front of her. She smashed it quickly, irritated with it in all entirety, then attempted to go back to her slumber. She wiped her hand off in the grass, disgusted by the guts smeared on her skin.

Her corrupted, defective, worthless skin, “blessed” with scars. 

Shattered and then revived… her own Diamond rejected her. She was the most perfect, most obedient thing ever, and yet she was the scum of this wretched rock of a hunk planet.

_“No fair..._

_You really know how to make me cry,_

_When you gimme those ocean eyes,_

_I'm scared..._

_I've never fallen from quite this high;_

_Falling into your ocean eyes,_

_Those ocean eyes…”_

Jasper’s brows knitted. There it was again- that stupid singing. There was a siren among these pirate seas, and she was ignoring the call no matter how calming or elegant the song made itself to be. She wanted to scream at the world and break it in two, bend the code to its knees and rule on top of all the crumbling canyons that she hailed from.

Why was Lapis still out anyway? 

Jasper’s curiosity clawed at her until she broke, ripped apart. Her scars couldn’t compare to the danger that was attracting her, the siren of the sea at last drawing her out.

She was only doing this because she wanted the brat to shut up.

Heavily, Jasper slowly rose from her keep. She marched over towards the noise, finding the crop fields in front of her after some walking. They stretched for miles, dirt promising a fertile regime in time and few plots still brown as they waited for their plants to grow. Farther out in the grown side, where the strawberries and carrots grew, their green littered the earth like flora sprinkles.

There, she saw Lapis, standing among the fruits and vegetables singing.

Jasper clenched her teeth. She ignored the plants that she stepped on as she moved, a large bull released into a field of delicate glass which she destroyed without remorse or pity.

Lapis paused when she heard her. She tensed.

“Stop singing,” Jasper huffed once she was close enough.

Lapis said nothing.

Jasper thought that was the end of that. She could go back to her keep and try to waste her life doing nothing worthwhile like sleeping again.

But then Lapis spoke. “... You should try it sometime,” she faintly said.

“What?” Jasper frowned.

“Sing,” Lapis said. “Or just… something.”

“I already do something. I don’t need to hear any of your lecturing,” Jasper grinned.

“And what is that?” Lapis challenged.

Jasper paused, unable to come up with a response.

“That’s what I thought,” Lapis muttered, walking away.

Jasper watched her. Then, she sprinted after her. “Are you mocking me?”

“You’d be dumb if you didn’t figure that out.”

Jasper grew livid. She wanted to tear this blue beauty apart and show everyone just what she was like on the inside. Blue blood and blue eyes, blue skin and blue hair, blue crystals and shards she could splay like the chipped moon. 

But, she did nothing.

Her anger was boiling within her, running through her in volumes of great malice. Jasper took advantage of the situation, knowing Lapis was trying to aggravate her. “You’re right.”

And as expected, Lapis stopped, turned around, and gave a surprised stare.

“I _am_ dumb,” Jasper went on. “And I’m pathetic.”

Lapis crossed her arms, dumbfounded.

“We both are,” Jasper finished.

Lapis’ muscles rippled underneath her thin arms, and Jasper took note of it. She struck a vein. She expected to be beaten or punished for her statement. She welcomed it, bracing herself. She wasn’t afraid, she, the quartz who survived death itself.

However, Lapis instead laughed.

She _laughed._

Now Jasper was dumbfounded.

“Yeah. We are,” Lapis agreed.

“You’re agreeing with me,” Jasper said, astonished.

“I am,” Lapis shrugged. “We’re all pathetic.”

Jasper was confused. What game was this Gem playing at? “How are you enjoying something negative?” She hissed, demandingly. “True strength is taking pride in what you are positively! Using that strength to win every battle and destroy your enemies!”

“... Restraint and patience is strength,” Lapis countered. “There is no difference between revenge and justice.”

Jasper scoffed, amused by the words. “Of course there is. Revenge is-“

Lapis gave an unimpressed look. Jasper hushed herself. “... There is no difference,” she mused. “I should know.” She was calm, she was serene. There was not a trace of hostility in her stance nor eyes. Just the occasional twist of surprise or possible fear if anything. Jasper could relate. “This… planet has given me so many things I never knew,” Lapis said. “So many colors and so much… life. Loss, learning…”

“How could you like this ball of rock?”

“How could I not?”

“But it _destroys_ you, doesn’t it?! Everytime you see something, anything that reminds you of pain or suffering, you should DESTROY it!”

Lapis shook her head. “Or I learn from it.”

Jasper’s system hit panic. How was Lapis surprising her yet also meeting her exact expectations of reactions?

“... Hey, we… I know our past is beyond fucked up-“ Lapis began.

“You swore?”

Lapis snorted, “Yeah. I did. I can say again if you want me to.”

Jasper grinned. “Do it.”

Lapis drew in a breath, and threw her arms into the air. “Fuck,” she repeated.

Jasper cringed. 

Lapis sat down, seeming comfortable if she was willing to be so vulnerable compared to how much Jasper loomed over her. “... I forgive you.”

“You… what?” Jasper spat.

“Yeah. You heard me. I forgive you.” Lapis pointed at Jasper sharply. “Not because I am forgetting what you did, what _we_ did, but because… I want to move on. I want to have a healthy future for myself.” She slumped her shoulders, touching the leaf of a strawberry plant in her proximity. She caressed it, softly. “I acknowledge what we did. What… _I_ did. Forgiveness is knowing what someone did, but not letting it affect your future. I’m cutting off all the negativity so I can have a better future. If I don’t forgive you, then that means I choose to live with all this hate and trauma, anguish and devastation. Forgiveness is leaving it behind, not forgetting it, but learning from remembering it and showing that it doesn’t affect me anymore. … I make my own future. I learned from both my wrongs and those who wronged me.”

“Suddenly you’re a sapphire with all this great advice,” Jasper mocked. “Hmph. Fine, amuse me. Why are you telling me all this?”

Lapis hesitated. “Because I want to know if you forgive me too.”

Jasper froze.

Silence.

The crickets chirped and the moon kept its eerie glow, but it wasn’t until a few moments that then someone moved or spoke again.

Jasper slowly sat down, about to crush a strawberry plant. Lapis noticed and she gave a worried glance. Jasper caught eye of the look, this she adjusted herself, sitting away from the plant and sparing it.

Lapis sighed with relief. “What we had was horrible and so… destructive.” Her hands laid upon her lap. “I was horrible to you.”

“... So was I,” Jasper admitted.

“Do you forgive me?”

Jasper thought about it. She gnashed her teeth, fighting stubbornness within her head. A proud quartz, to succumb to this? This kind of weakness? Or was it truly strength to give up her ego and replace it with more somber, softer, palettes of calm blues and tangerines? Jasper pondered about it back and forth in endless games of cat and mouse. 

Then, she caved. 

“I forgive you.”

**Author's Note:**

> // Lyrics from “Ocean Eyes” by Billie Eilish 
> 
> obtuseoctopus why do lots of your fics have Lapis sing lmao


End file.
